Full circle filming

We started filming last week on my first independent documentary as a producer. For those of you that don’t know, I sort of expanded/switched professions while in London last year.
Canadians now have the opportunity to apply for a 2-year working holiday visa before the age of 31. In a random twist of fate, this change in UK legislation occurred the year of my 31st birthday (it was 23 prior to 2005)
So from Prague to London I went. Knowing about 3 people, into a city where there are more photojournalists per capita than anywhere else… except perhaps New York.
I started work for a couple agencies and quickly backpeddled. My dream was to work for an organization like The Guardian/Observer, but the Independent or Times would also have been nice. Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be. I called the Guardian repeatedly and though interviewed at The Times, my portfolio was nowhere near strong enough and as the photo editor of Getty Images had to say I am competing against people who have regular images on the cover of Time Magazine. So what to do?
I photographed for one of the agencies I could get work for and realized soon enough that is was not for me. My assignments involved taking the Metro across London an hour from where I lived to capture a murder scene, then a Maxim model party in central London, a couple random sensationalized non-stories and finally a pap request.
Now for those of you that are not aware, “to pap” in the UK is an actual verb meaning “to paparazzi” and it’s used with quite regularity amongst those in the photojournalism profession.
I was asked to pap one of the actors from a popular TV show called East Enders. Apparently this actor was about to leave the show and had sent a press release around to the various newspapers informing them he would be dining with his new employer at an expensive central London restaurant where all those who wish to be seen dine.
I had no idea who this guy was and after looking him up online and then successfully taking his image for the agency, I decided I really didn’t want to pursue this type of photography.
If this was the kind of work I had to do to make it in London, I would rather not work. So I delved into other areas.
I went back to my other roots, the film world. For one month I worked for a very lovely French/English producer for free on a short documentary drama about depression. I learned some of the ropes, met some people and got a credit as assistant producer under my belt. I worked just as hard as I would with a paid gig and as a result ended up working as a producer for a corporate documentary for a major London company. So my start in documentary filmmaking began.
This was followed by a 2-month job in Kenya and Uganda working for a British director/producer that works for trade unions. But this whole experience taught me a lot about the film world.
For my corporate job in London, I did a fair amount of work for reasonable pay for a very lovely director. My two months in Africa involved a lot of work, for little pay and in the end the director didn’t give me credit due. And I am only saying this because I learned a lot from that experience and want to impress upon others the value of knowing where you stand and contracts.
As much as you think that just because someone is working in human rights or humanitarian issues or on a feature where the premise seems just. Be careful, know your rights and get something in writing.
I learned this the hard way and will never make that mistake again. My idealist sense of moral justice completely disintegrated in just one production. Four months of production work and only a stills photo credit to show for it.
I resolved to not let this happen again. And for some time I was at a loss at what to do next. Hence the Vipassana retreat, the trip to the Balkans and return to Prague.
As a photographer I have always specialized in social, humanitarian and environmental issues, but I can’t make a living on that alone. Not enough people care. People care about wannabe socialites and TV, but not about poverty and social justice.
When I previously lived in Prague I was always drawn to the Roma. One issue more so than the rest and this was particular issue was still topical upon my return. I will get more into it once I get further into production, but for now lets leave it at that.
When I lived in the UK I met a few people in the film world. Not only on the productions I was involved in but through volunteer work at a picture library and through friends.
One of my friends is a editor/director whom I’ve always really enjoyed spending time with and respect her opinion, choice in films and knowledge of social issues. She was the first person I contacted to gauge her interest.
The second is an American actor that has developed a media company from a music video filmed last year.
Because the editor/director lives in the UK and has a full-time job, it was up to me to get some material for her to work with. My topic was timely as a major milestone for filming was occurring just as I was gathering together the key players.
Now the actor and I are very different. He’s a rather aggressive American male with a sensitive side and many surprises. He managed to get me an HD camera and car for free and for the day we drove 4.5 hours into eastern Czech Republic to capture an essential part of the story.
By logistics error on the part of the main subject we managed to end up with one of the most prominent women in our car for more than an hour as we traveled to her home near where we filmed and got to know her.
Because she is Roma, she claims the media has been unfairly targeting her and her community. Stereotypes and racism are rampant and she has been unwilling to talk to the media since they unfairly targeted one of the women in her community.
For some reason she took to us quite quickly. Part of it was definitely my colleague. We ended up stuck in a traffic jam that was likely to last for hours. With a couple of curses he wandered over to the police officers and found out what the problem was. Then he pulled out of the queue/line and overtook all of vehicles on the small country road in order to get to smaller country roads that though still on the map, were quite obscure.
The women in the back seat meanwhile were genuinely scared. This is definitely not typical Czech behaviour. As soon as they realized that he knew how to read map and knew where we were he was an instant deity. He need not do any thing else.
Not only did we beat everyone else in our caravan to our destination by nearly 45min. In that time we managed to conduct an interview with one of the women in her home and made an ally.
This is all very important in filmmaking. You have to learn how to get everyone around you to trust you. Whether it’s the cast and crew or the subjects to be filmed and production team.
This was the first of what will be about 14days of filming and although far from perfect, it was definitely a great start.
From here it only gets easier! Well… we’ll see...

Meditative Holidays

For Christmas this year I thought I would do something a little different. Rather than return to Canada to face the madness of Christmas consumerism and mass consumption. I decided to spend it in solitude.
But first, I had to return to London to sort out all of my possessions on this side of the Atlantic.
I’ve traveled quite extensively throughout the past year. My lease expired at my flat in London at the end of April, and I left the following day for two months in Kenya and Uganda. A friend of mine from university was kind enough to keep my boxes in her attic while I was away, and upon my return I ended up staying with her and her husband for a few months until my UK working holiday visa expired. My very loose plan was to spend a couple months in Europe prior to heading home semi-permanently for the holidays.
While visiting my former flatmate in Serbia, a journalist from Prague contacted me about work and within 10days of arriving I ended up on assignment in Albania, Kosovo and Montenegro. First doing a demining story and tourism story with her and then a feature on a deminer with another American broadcast journalist.
I returned for a month in Prague and found home once again (home has become decidedly more relative). Only a few of my friends had left the country and those that remained welcomed me back so warmly that it was though I’d never left.
Then I got the email. My friend in London was renovating her attic and wanted my stuff out. So with a week’s preparation I returned to the UK.
Living in Europe, using public transportation and cycling virtually everywhere (when I had a bicycle) has given me a different perspective on my previous life back in Calgary where I drove everywhere, including to the corner store.
However in Europe, rather that car/SUV emissions, it’s short haul flights that are one of their biggest contributors to carbon emissions and so, to get back to my story for those of you I haven’t lost in a tangent, I decided to take the bus from Prague to London.
There are obvious benefits to this type of travel. No airport or customs issues, the price stays the same whether you book 2-days in advance or 2 months in advance, they show movies and have a ride attendant (one who distributes tea and coffee to guests), there is a savings of 50-75% that what you’d pay for airfare if you consider the train/bus/cab ride to one of the 3 major airports in London and the carbon emissions are negligible.
But it is 18hours, I’m not quite as limber as I once was and the bus in both directions was packed. Either way, when I returned to Prague after my 4-day visit and day-and-a-half of travel, I was exhausted! Add this to 5 hours in Prague in which to pack and ready myself for the 6-hour train/van odyssey to Triebel, Germany and I was more than ready to retreat.
For those of you that don’t know anything about Vipassana meditation I encourage you to read their Web site (www.dhamma.org).
It is a meditation technique developed 2500 years ago by Gotama the Buddha. Over the centuries it had become diluted somewhat in India and other countries that practice. However in Burma it has remained pure, and the instructor S.N Goenka has returned the practice to India where it has now spread to the west.
In Germany, where I went for the 11-days pre-Christmas, there were 40 women and 30 men in attendance.
We all arrived on the night of December 12. I was exhausted. I signed in and gave up my mobile/cell phone, camera bag and all valuables to the workers at the center. I was one of the last to arrive so only had a brief chat with my two roomies prior to going to bed. A German woman in her 40s and a Slovenian. It was the last night we were able to communicate for 10days. We were entering a Noble Silence
Now when you read the Web site, it breaks things down for you quite clearly under the Code of Discipline. But I'll try and do it in my own way.
Every day started at 4am. A gong went off somewhere in the distance and you had half an hour to get to the main meditation hall for the 2-hour morning session.
Breakfast was served at 6:30 and consisted of porridge with hot fruit sauce, bread, jam, tea and fruits. The breakfast hall closed at 7:15 and we were allowed to do as we liked until 8. Then was the first of 3 mandatory hour-long meditation sessions in the main hall. The only area where men and women were allowed in the same room with one another and the instructor was always present. Afterwards, we had 2 hour’s meditation and a lunch at 11:00, always vegetarian. This was our last meal of the day.
From here we had the opportunity to ask the instructors questions, one on one or we could use the opportunity to relax until 1, at which point we had 2.5 hour’s meditation on our own until 2:30, the next mandatory session.
Then there was a short break in the afternoon and tea with fruit amidst on-your-own meditation until the last mandatory session that lasted until 7.
Until about 8:15pm we were shown a video with SN Goenka discussing the technique, telling stories and describing his background. Another short meditation and then bed at 9-9:30.
I think I've mentioned that in addition to the 11-hours of daily meditation, you weren’t allowed to talk with anyone except for the instructor, that has been practicing the technique for over 20years and spent time with S. N. Goenka himself. This means no eye contact, no gestures, no notes (they took all writing instruments at check-in as well as all reading materials). The purpose being to maintain focus only on yourself.
Just for a moment imagine taking away all extraneous stimuli. No TV or Internet, no dogs barking in the distance or sound of children playing.
Complete silence.
All this while living in a compound and closed quarters with 80 people for 11 days; sleeping in the same room with two other.
And then add to the fact that you are sitting, for 11 hours a day.
Now I’d never really been quite clear on what that really meant. Meditation. And it obviously means different things to different people. Vipassina is by definition a method of seeing things as they really are. And a large part of our 10 days was a process of getting rid of our misery. This is something profoundly personal and everyone that participates in the retreat goes in with different expectations and ultimately has very different experiences.
I’ll touch on a few of the less personal things I experienced for those that are interested.
First, sitting still for an hour straight for anyone is a challenge, nevermind myself - mildly hyperactive and has undergone 3 knees surgeries. But after day 4 this becomes mandatory for 3 separate hours each day.
I can honestly say that I haven’t been in so much pain in years! And consequently when I did manage to do a full hour for the first time, it was a milestone in my sessions. I found I only really get going after 45 minutes and that is precisely when things start to itch, ache and torture the most.
Second, you spend the first four days focusing on the breath going in and out of your nose, fine-tuning it until it’s the small triangle below your nose. 4 days focusing on your nose?! For 11-hours each day?
Well yes, try it.
I like multi-tasking. In fact, I operate best when I have many things on the go simultaneously. And I have to say honestly that I have yet to be able to master this. To focus on such a seemingly tiny thing was and is, for me, the absolute challenge.
Although all of the extraneous stimuli has been removed, there is so much going on that you are still vaguely aware of. The girl beside you that can’t sit still, the man on the other side of the room that keeps clearing his throat, the girl that blows her nose at 15-minute intervals. And then there are your own thoughts. Trying to keep them from running away on you is a constant struggle. Over the course of the 10 days my thoughts were all over the place. There were tears on the second day, incredible creative inspiration on day 4, restlessness on day 8 coupled with intermittent euphoria.
After day 4 you start ‘sweeping.’ The energy that you learned to focus on such a small concentrated area at the base of your nose, you apply to your entire body. Head to feet, feet to head. Equanimously, patiently, ardously.
The theory is that certain sensations are a biproduct of your misery. I can tell you that by Day 6 I had a baseball-sized chuck of ‘misery’ in my lower limb and a golf-ball in my spine that took days to work out.
Although you are supposed to just observe these sensations, with my newfound control of energy I started attacking them. They hurt so much I wanted them gone and reckoned if I confront them it’d happen faster… not so. They just multiplied. I learned this quickly after a few days of observing, the larger chunks disappeared and it allowed me to relax further.
A lot of what I’ve written thus far is for those that are really curious, and there seems to be quite a few that are.
Although I think the whole experience is something that should be done, as I said before each experience is very personal and individual.
I can say that I had highs unlike those I’ve experienced under the influence or while doing any sort of physical activity.
I felt a simultaneously saddened and relieved on the last day when it was all over.
Thankfully, there is a day of social reintegration that is really essential.
Conversing and being surrounded by activity was initially such a shock to the system. I felt a little ill and had to return to the sanctity of my bedroom, where I found my roomies feeling precisely the same.
There was also communal effort to help clean the place up for the next group. I was on the storage room in the basement. And it was during this part of the retreat that I talked to a few people for the first time.
After 10 days, you inevitably develop preconceptions about those around you. Having never heard someone’s voice you have a lot of latitude in creating their character. So to find your myth broken at the end was serendipitous. And I was really surprised by the diversity of people there, a German yoga instructor, German fashion designer you’d perhaps expect, but a USAID lawyer and a member of the US army was a little unexpected.
Now a lot of you may have asked 'how much could this possibly cost?'
Well, it's free! For 10 days (well 11 if you count the first night) you have room and board and instuction. There is no obligation to pay anything. They rely soley on donations and donations only so that someone else can experience what you have experienced. You only give so that the experience can benefit someone else...
Now this in my mind was the way to spend the holidays.
The 6-hour train ride home was long. And to see things as they really are when your first stop is the main train station in Prague is a story left for another day.